Episode 1: Celebrating Strengths 💪

Hi! Have you ever seen somebody excel at something and have instantly felt inferior and insecure as a result? I have. Several times.

Feeling Like The Outsider

I'm a product manager at a tech company in Toronto. A lot of my network is filled with individuals who absolutely love optimizing user experiences, programming, or starting their side hustles & companies.

I’ve often felt like there was a glass screen between people like them and me, and would often ask myself “why don't I have a passion in deep learning like she does?” “Do I belong in tech?” I consistently go through periods where I judge myself for not keeping up with the latest viral recipes on TikTok! Come on Ananya. You could at least do it for the food 🙄

Lost in thought in my supermarket, I wandered aimlessly down the pasta aisle, and right as I locked eyes with a box of spaghetti, I realized that interests are subjective.

And while this may be easy to write and rationalize, and weird to realize in the company of so many carbohydrates, a lot of the times, it’s difficult for me to accept, especially when it comes to going against the grain in society. Not being able to relate to or be interested in what’s hot right now really bugs me. And to make matters worse - if individuals ever spoke to me about something I wasn't familiar with - I would immediately take this as a reflection on how little I knew. I'd assume that if someone spoke to me about something I didn't know much about, that I was stupid.

Realizations

Ok, I just realized this while I started this section titled ‘Realizations’ (thoughtception? inception? is it called inception *only* when you’re sleeping? someone please help me out here)

But I don’t think we all emphasize mental workouts as much as we do physical workouts. Wouldn’t it be nice if our workout schedule had cardio, physical strength, and mental strength? Or Monday - cardio, Tuesday - arms & core, Wednesday - mind?

Anyway, as a result of my many mental workouts, I’ve realized a few things to help me grow in the aspect of comparison & self-judgement. And for fun, I’ve given them names.

Realization # 1

Be Goldilocks - If a majority of people speak about things I know very little about - this is a wonderful thing! I have multiple opportunities to venture out of my comfort zone and be exposed to something new on a consistent basis. Just like Goldilocks (trespassing and) trying her porridges - try a little bit here and there, and you never know - you might find something you like.

Me right now as your read my newsletter

Realization # 2

Don’t Be An Irina Spalko - I’m not stupid for not knowing something, but rather silly for thinking that I was stupid (stupid-ception? incorrect perceptionception?)

Judging myself for not knowing all the knowledge in the world is a trivial pursuit. And while an ever present hunger for knowledge is healthy and desirable, my feeling to want to know everything about anything is not. We all know what happens to Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) at the end of that Indiana Jones movie where she demands that those aliens tell her “EVERYTHING”.

This.

Me, five coffees in, realizing I knew this would happen but did it anyway

Side note - I find the word ‘stupid’ very aggressive. When I’m tempted to use it in negative self talk - I replace it with silly, because silly has more of a positive connotation and stupid is downright mean.

When it comes to stupidity, like interests, what people find stupid is often subjective. There are no universally stupid questions, songs (yes, even high school musical tunes), books, etc. — and I think it’s really important to remember that.

So in a nutshell, don’t be an Irina Spalko, but do everything in your mortal power to achieve at least 1% of the awesomeness that is Cate Blanchett.

Realization # 3

Own YOUR Superpower - Ok, little Ananya was OBSESSED with the Powerpuff Girls. They were cool, kicked ass, hated broccoli but ate it to save the world. They were kind (even Buttercup!) to Mojo Jojo despite him being a complete tool. Clearly I am digressing yet again, but I kinda like this!

I always wanted to be Blossom because she was so friggin’ perfect with her polite manners and perfect bows. And my parents often called me Buttercup.. not sure if it’s because I yelled, screamed, threw temper tantrums, made dramatic exists out of rooms when something was not done to my liking, or all of the above.. while I was under the age of 10.

It took me a really long time to realize that Buttercup was super cool, actually I think I only made that realization as a teenager -when screaming and yelling became a mainstream thing. Maybe this is a bad example, but what I’m trying to say here is that everyone has their superpower. Everyone is different. And that diversity is what makes society powerful.

If we all had the same interests, this is what I feel the world would look like:

My anxieties when I sit down to meditate

To relate it back to this newsletter, if I’m not interested in a certain topic, it doesn’t mean that I’m less cool or less current, but rather that I’m just another human being with her own interests and with her own superpowers. And while this again seems pretty obvious when writing, it has been a pretty big realization for me to reconcile with.

For the longest time, I focused on every trait/skill I didn't have, and simultaneously ignored or trivialized the things I am good at and I think that’s just not fair. So the next time I find myself in a situation where I judge myself for being/not being interested in certain things, I am gonna remind myself to channel my inner Buttercup and kick those silly thoughts into outer space

So.. now what?

These realizations have given me a way to create distance between my personal worth and the knowledge I hold. Although I didn't wake up one day feeling completely uncritical to myself, I have been working on being more open, and going through life with an open mind. Approaching foreign experiences from a lens of curiosity, as opposed to a lens of critique.

And you know what? This experience taught me that my interests don't need to be static! I don't always have to only nurture hobbies I started in my childhood, but could also build interests in new topics I’ve been exposed to, whether that be learning magic, playing the guitar, or starting a food instagram account.

So as we come to the end of episode 1 of this new newsletter to celebrate one of my strengths - writing - I'd love for all of us to spend two seconds thinking about what we truly truly love to do, and making sure we celebrate them on a regular basis.

Happy Thursday,

Ananya

---

How did you like this episode?

Give me your feedback by leaving a comment!

If you absolutely loved it, share it with others!

---

About Bala Blabs

Bala Blabs is how I stay accountable to writing regularly. Writing is something I have loved doing since a very young age. One of the first things I got praised for was a horror poem that I modelled after Edgar Allan Poe's 'The Raven' at the age of 7.

I've been on the journey of creating a more fulfilling life for myself. And that includes creating, and a part of creating is writing and being able to express my ideas and thought.

I'd like to write and share ideas with you on everything I find interesting in topics like personal growth, art, hobbies, and much more. And I hope that as a subscriber, you'll benefit a little bit from reading my content. At the very least, you're supporting one person on their mission to realize their true vision for their life.

Follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram